After my long-awaited epiphany, I feel relieved and increasingly more optimistic. As nice as those feelings are, they've opened up a whole new world of questions locked inside my own mind. I don't know the answers or where to go in search of them. My mind is endlessly wondering new things everyday. I've always been that way, but now the subject matter has changed. Instead of the old, self-loathing inquiries I'd make daily, my thoughts are now open-ended questions of what is normal and what is okay.
Is it backtracking whenever I get nostalgic for something in the past? Does my recovery hang in the balance?
Does everyone else get flashbacks so strong it makes their whole body jolt?
How am I supposed to feel now?
What am I supposed to want?
Is the overwhelming desire for something new just another mistake I'm about to walk into?
What do I do?
Does anyone know?
I feel as though the last few questions are extremely vague...and yet everyone in this world knows what I feel and wonders the same things quite frequently. It makes me feel less abnormal, but how am I to know I'm right in that assumption?
Someone let me know I'm not alone in these thoughts, fears and inquiries.
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