Finally!

The epiphany finally hit me. My mind has finally processed the thought I've been mulling over for months. I knew this was the case from the beginning but didn't quite believe it until now. I don't miss him anymore. It's not him. He's a different person now and I don't want that person at all. I miss what we had...what we were, but by no means do I miss HIM.

God, the liberation is too much to explain in words. No more does the sound of a song throw me into hysterics. My world doesn't revolve around his sorry ass anymore. Now I do things to better myself, not in attempts of winning back his love...which, looking back, was never really enough for me anyways. I don't need him. I can do better.

This doesn't mean I don't still become sad or nostalgic, but I have in fact let go, and all the regret of leaving has fallen away. My decisions were correct all along. Had I stayed, I would have been the fool. Instead, I've left him with a new fool. I remembered how much I despise ignorance. By the time I realized that was a trait I had obtained over time, I also realized he wasn't worth all the knowledge and logic I normally have. I would never risk all that for someone who was worth my time, let alone someone who wasn't.

While I admit I am not completely cured, this is now the road to recovery. It feels better everyday, and I find myself with a completely different mindset. While still cynical, I've become slightly more optimistic. I'm more willing to help others now than to seek help myself. I'm looking forward to completely moving on and I can proudly say I've left all of the ignorance (and ignorant people) in my wake.

That being said, I hope to start writing more. I used to complain about my writer's block and lack of muse, but I'm hoping now that my brain isn't so foggy and cluttered with thoughts of that stupid boy I'll have more room to be inspired again.