Untitled

I haven't written a blog that actually meant something in a while.
I've been consumed by the Tumblr monster and have been posting nothing but pretty photos, funny memes, and music.
Not that those aren't all fine and dandy - it's just nice to have some substance every now and then.

So, I wrote a poem for the first time in what seems like a lifetime tonight.
It's fictional...and I hope it stays fictional. I wrote it based on a child-like theme. It isn't a happy poem but, in my humble opinion, the juxtaposition emphasizes the delusion of the narrator.

I don't know why I give an entire explanation leading up to a poem that no one is even going to read. Oh well. Wishful thinking.

I don't have a title for it just yet. I couldn't think of one clever enough to do it justice. I'll update this when I come up with one.

"Untitled"

Let's play pretend

and make believe

That I did things right

and you didn't leave.

Let's toy with the thought

that you love me still

That I don't dream of dying

and never will

Let's imagine a trip

we could take in a box

Then wherever we land

build a house out of blocks

Let's color memories

with sidewalk chalk

Age and watch our lives play out

wherever we walk

I could wonder all day

what it would be like

If you'd stuck around

for the rest of my life

But it's time to grow up

and face the fact

That you left me behind

and you're not coming back.

A bit morbid yes.

But I think it's splendid for being so rusty.

I Lied...

In my last post I wrote how life didn't need to be so complicated. While I still stand by that statement for the most part, I can no longer support it one hundred percent.

Life is fucking complicated sometimes. Sometimes it can't be avoided. It's inevitable.

Things fall into your lap and you can't control everything.

It can't always be simplified. Choices can be hard and not always clear.

And that's all there is to it.

Life Really Doesn't Have to Be So Complicated

Why does everyone say life is so complicated...?

I understand this is a question that can be answered differently by every separate person. Every heart and every mind work together, or occasionally separately, to formulate some answer to that question. All I hear all the time is, "Life isn't easy; life is complicated." What I don't understand is why those two phrases are always synonymous with each other.

Yes. Life isn't easy. Life is very strenuous and demanding, but that needn't make it complicated.

Maybe my fatal flaw is one of oversimplification. In my eyes people create many of the unnecessary complications they continually complain about in their lives.

Romance is probably the biggest area of difficulties that could easily be avoided. People spend all this time trying to look nice to attract a partner - UNNECESSARY! The person you end up with will be loving you for who you are and what you look like without getting ready. There's one complication people can just knock off their lists. Then, people find someone and complain about how difficult their relationship is.

News Flash: It doesn't have to be.

That's the main area of romantic life that bothers me. In my mind, things can be boiled down completely to their bare minimum. In other words, "it is what it is." There isn't anything more to it if you don't want there to be. Everyone could be happy if both partners could just grasp this concept.

If you love somone just be loyal and faithful. I know I make it seem so easy and you're probably thinking, "but Sammi, it just isn't that simple." I know you probably don't think it is, but what I'm getting at is the fact that it could be. If you love someone it's simple and even enjoyable to do anything to keep them happy. Even simpler: anything NOT to upset them. Don't lie to them. Don't cheat on them. Don't pick fights about miniscule issues. Relax and calm the fuck down.

Now in many cases people have done this and they haven't seen decent results. That's because their partner doesn't have the same outlook. If two people could just coexist without drama or lies or other stupid and unnecessary complications, imagine how good life would be - how happy people would be.

Now, I know stress plays a large role in all of this. It takes much practice and discipline to control one's emotions. But hey: I've done it. If I can do it I just don't see why other people can't. It's not just being the bigger person but learning tolerance.

Everyone says trust is the biggest and most important aspect in a relationship and I agree - to an extent. I think it's tied with tolerance. You can trust each other all you want but there are some quirks your partner will undoubtedly have that you will just have to get used to. Sometimes they are going to be things that upset you but if you can't look past the little things how will you ever make it by. Sometime love isn't enough - but love can push you to gain the emotional control, knowledge, tolerance - whatever it may be - that is enough.

I know my train of thought was kind of all over the place and I apologize for that. I just hope that my message was clear. I know life isn't easy, but people make the parts that should be easy...well...complicated. Why make life more difficult? Relationships are supposed to be the highlight. They are supposed to be the part of life that makes all the hard work worth it. People go out to work all day and the ones that are the happiest are the ones that come home to a loving relationship.

I just don't see why things can't be more simple. Maybe what I think is the best solution will ultimately cause problems - how am I to know?

For me it just seems...just so trivial to aggravate things that need not be aggravated...

Calm down, kick back, and let it go. Life's too short.

It's a Shame...

As I've stated before, it's shameful what it takes to get some people to come together. These days it seems as though no one is there for their fellow classmate, neighbor, or even family member, until it is too late.

Yesterday, a boy attending my former high school took his life. Why he took his life is unbeknownst to me and many others, whether they claim to know the reason or not. The truth is, no one will ever really know what the boy's final thoughts were. All we know now is that he is gone.

Many Crescenta Valley students and graduates have been sending their condolences and writing statuses regarding the issue all over Facebook. While many people did know him, or at least knew of him, countless others are jumping in to join the "support system". I'm sure some do have genuinely good intentions, but I also believe there are just as many people, if not more, that are just hopping on the band wagon because it's what everyone else is doing. It's sickening to think that mourning a individual's death has become a trend...But the truth of the matter is, while everyone may seem together now, more than half of these students will forget about the impact of this event within the next two weeks. Unfortunately, for those who witnessed the incident, that image may never be erased from their memories.

Back last April, I wrote a piece entitled "All You Have To Do Is Ask". The message of this entry was that I would be there for anyone who needed me, regardless of our past or present conflicts. Back then, I was writing from the standpoint of someone who was asking for that kind of support from someone. Now I'm looking back on it, no longer lacking that support but still completely willing to give it...to anyone. While I can't speak for the deceased, that poor boy who took his life the other day probably could have used the support of someone with that mindset.  Keeping that in mind, I think everyone should be just a little more understanding of others' situations, and reach out to those in need, whether you're friends, acquaintences, strangers, or even enemies. If someone is in need, that is all that should matter.

We have to be there for each other, not just as students, coworkers, or neighbors, but as human beings.

R.I.P. Drew Ferraro
While I didn't know you, I have heard nothing but good things. I know you're in a better place now.