When I Was Little...

I was definitely full of surprises. Some of the things that popped out of my tiny toddler mouth...despicable. That being said, they were also tremendously amusing, at least that's what I've been told by those who remember.

So, for your reading pleasure, I am going to post a few lovely childhood thoughts and stories of mine.

Enjoy:

- When I was little, I thought that when people said "Shiitake Mushrooms" in order to AVOID swearing, that they were actually saying, "Shit, talking mushrooms." - Slightly ironic.

- I could not pronounce my "S" sounds, nor could I properly write the letter "S" when I was first learning to read and write. Therefore, I referred to myself as "Ammi" or "Manta" and wrote my "S"'s backwards.

- Once, when my mom was driving to work, I was sitting in my car-seat in the back. While merging onto a different freeway, another car cut her of and she started screaming obscenities. Then, when she was done, we sat in silence for a good five minutes before I stated, with perfect enunciation, "That scared the SHIT out of me."

- Whenever I used to get angry with my mom as a toddler, she would make me feel bad by saying she was going to cry and covering her face. I guess one time she made me really mad, and when she told me she was going to cry, I looked at her with annoyance and said, "CWY!" >:[

- I once climbed out of my crib, down the stairs to the first story of our house, through the living room, through the kitchen, through a small doggie-door to the garage and out another doggie-door to the backyard, all by myself. I then approached my dad who was sitting in a lawn chair drinking his coffee and said hello, causing him to spill his coffee on his pants. :]

- I definitely used to think the "hospital" was actually the "hostable".

- While singing an innocent carol one Christmas, I decided I wanted attention. While singing the verses to "Santa Clause Is Coming to Town" I was gurgling and making baby noises in the background, but nobody would stop to acknowledge me. Then, having seen that it upset people, I used the one word I knew would get people's attention - a particular racial slur starting with "N" - and strategically said it during the pause after the chorus. Needless to say, I stopped the show, and we still have the recording on tape. I was about one-and-a-half-years-old.

I can't think of anymore stories at the moment, but I will probably continue this post tomorrow.

Sleep well, everyone. :]